Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Blogger 101: Dealing with Haters

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Disclaimer: Before I start, let me make this clear: I don't have as many haters or online bullies (luckily) as others do. But I do have fair share of it and I think many of my fellow blogger friends and readers do as well. Hence, I decided to come up with this post as part of my Blogging 101 series to address the issue and for others to gain some perspective about it, especially those who are getting a great deal of hate and/or criticism online.

No matter what you do or how successful you are, there will always be people who will try to dis-credit you. In general, I am a fun-loving person (except for when my PMS strikes and I have major mood swings). I like to talk about things I love with people I equally love. This is the same reason why I think I have thrived in the blogging industry - I get a lot of support from fellow bloggers in the community and I try my best to share the same kind of love and support. You do not know the impact that a simple encouraging message can do to others - it can turn a bad day around!

Hence, I am still surprised when even major bloggers (I prefer not to disclose their names here) have their fair share of haters or trolls online. I know that there are also people who feel that way towards me. I won't deny it. And I acknowledge it! But when people go out of their way to ridicule or send hate messages, my initial reaction is "why?". Is the hate too big of a burden to bear that you really had to take time off of your day to say negative things about another? And if I may insist, negative things toward somebody you barely or have not even spoken a word to? What basis do they get their negative feelings from?

It's a sad fact, I know. But for us on the receiving end of these hateful acts, it is important to change our perspective. Instead of moping around and doubting yourself, why not think of these instead:



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Jealousy and/or envy can be highly toxic. When people see your success, jealousy can trigger them to act in a negative manner, i.e. leaving de-meaning or rude comments to try to dis-credit your success. Instead of allowing it to become a trigger point for self-doubt, try to understand their situation first and what had pushed them to act that way. Most of the haters or naysayers are jealous onlookers masking themselves to try and bring you down and feel better about their own lives. It is their only way to get ahead of you - so don't dignify their actions. 


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How can you complain when you get more traffic, right? It's like having your own set of loyal followers/readers. Thanks for the added stats! (insert wink here)


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I read once that you should not take it too personally when people who barely even know you make rude comment towards you. Whatever they say or do is a reflection of what's lacking in them. Another way to look at it is that you are already one or several steps ahead of them in life. If they are too busy trying to bring you or your dreams down, then they forget to chase their own dreams (if they have any at all). Just keep on dreaming. If you've already made this kind of impact on someone else's life, imagine what kind of impact you can do in your own life!

Most importantly, ask yourself this question: who is losing sleep at night? If the answer isn't you, then you have nothing to worry about.

How do you deal with haters? Have you ever had a situation before wherein you were so deeply impacted by online trolls/bullies?


 

29 comments:

  1. I haven't had any, but I've seen other bloggers deal with it and it's crazy to me! If you don't like it (as in the blog), don't read it.

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  2. I really haven't had any, but I have had a couple of negative comments before. I just brushed it off because it truly didn't mean anything to me. It;s a fine line because when you put yourself out there, you leave yourself open to critiques. That doesn't mean people should have the nerve to be mean or hurtful. It's easy to hide behind the veil of anonymity. I think the best thing we can do is to build each other up and to continue to blog about what we love. Whoever doesn't like it can click on the x box ;)

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  3. I love reading this, luckily I haven't received any negative comment yet. But I'm always thinking that the minute I receive one I just going to take it like a visit more for my blog. I'm still winning
    x,Abril
    The Color Palette

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  4. Thanks for sharing, Abby. Thankfully, I have only had supportive comments so far. Good advice for if and when a negative comment does come along.

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  5. This is an amazing post Abby thank you for making us aware of this... I am lucky to not have received any rude comments thankfully... Don't know why people hate on others it's so stupid

    CANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES

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  6. indeed~ agree with you

    theautumnstreet.blogspot.com

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  7. What a great post! Thanks because sometimes we all need to CHECK ourselves!

    xo, Jessica || The Petite Diaries

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  8. That's why I set my comments to the setting where they have to be approved because I'm not even feeding into mean comments. No reason to encourage them!

    xx,
    Susie

    www.SequinsandStrawberries.com

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  9. you will never be able to please everyone. and everyone will always have a different opinion. different attitude. i guess, the best way to deal with it is to let is pass. if it is not bringing you any good, helping you grow for the better or giving you the kind of inspiration you need in your life, then turn your back and move on. support, acceptance and appreciation will come from the right people. embrace those. and that is what matters most :)

    kisses from dubai ♥
    www.mahryska.com

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  10. Great post! I It's so important to support one another as women. It's tough to put yourself out there as a blogger, so it's sad to see that when bloggers start to get more attention, negativity and jealousy tends to follow. We should instead inspire each other & aspire to be our better selves. ;)

    www.vanessasrunway.com

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  11. Great post and you are so right ! I don't understand it why people can be so rude. Let people do what they love and like. If you don't like then just don't watch it right ? All that negative comment we don't need it .

    www.thefashionpanda.be
    www.thefashionpanda.be

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  12. Girl, you are preachin to the choir. Loved reading this <3

    Enclothed Cognition

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  13. Omg I love this!!! That first quote is perfect! I always say my haters are my biggest fans! ;)

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles
    

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  14. Amazing post dear!

    https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/printed-sea-3880191

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  15. I don't have too many haters; just the occasional rude comment here and there, but yeah definitely thanks for the free traffic haha. awesome post; couldn't agree more with you ♥

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  16. Great post! I've only had to deal with this issue once so far and the hateful comment was written in another language..I simply deleted off my IG and blocked the poster. Thank goodness that's even an option however bloggers who are way more popular and have thousands of comments may not have the luxury of doing this or they'd be at it all day. Like you said, thanks for the free traffic!

    www.dressed2dnines.com

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  17. I've been really lucky and haven't had to deal with this, but I once heard that printing out your favorite comment and just going back to it when something negative happens helps tons!
    xo Adri
    www.adrilately.blogspot.com

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  18. This is such an important post. Loved the quotes! Badass! Hahaha.
    Fortunately I never had to deal with that but nevertheless, internet/anon hate is like a never ending vortex. It's everywhere.
    -Rupsha | Blog-Lovesicklilac | Twitter-b_rupsha

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  19. Very well said! After all, those haters must not be happy with their life, if they only find negative things to say to others!

    Have a lovely day!

    Paulina

    shenanigan-ska.blogspot.com

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  20. Fortunately I haven't experienced any hateful responses to my blog yet. . . but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. This is such a great perspective to have, and if you're doing something you enjoy it shouldn't matter what others think.

    Shae @ www.currenthabits.com

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  21. Luckily, I haven't had one yet.. Very well said !!
    Have a good weekend. Xoxo

    http://www.sweetsimpleday.com

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  22. What a great blog post, its certainly hard enough putting yourself online, let alone dealing with criticism!

    Eleventh & Sixteenth

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  23. What a great post, and all so true, people who are negative towards others are usually lacking something in their own lives. I haven't had any negative feedback yet but I like to think I won't be put off or disheartened if and when I do, as I get so much positive ones :)

    Carolyn

    http://www.stylishmemories.com

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  24. Great post! Haters are confused admirers. I like to prove people wrong so they inspire me to further!

    Jas | Jasmine Diane

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  25. Thanks for the great post! I know the haters are out there but (luckily) I have only seen the positive. So many great, encouraging fellow bloggers!

    x Trish

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  26. VERY well said Abby I couldn't agree with you more!

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